What should I do if my wife is telling me she doesn't love me, and never did? We are still together, but she doesn't even want to spend time with me. I didn't yell at her. I didn't do anything. She is just saying she doesn't want me. What should I do?
Cry a lot. And don't leave her. And pray for the grace not to be angry in a brutal way.
Don't dishearten or put down or make your wife feel endangered or unloved (Colossians 3:19). Pray that God would help you to continue in that.
There are times when the church or individual Christians act like this toward their husband, Jesus Christ. I mean, like, every day maybe? They get up in the morning and there's the Lord waiting to talk with them and to have some fellowship with them. And they go to the newspaper. And then they go to the television. And then they go to the car and they turn the radio on. And they go all day long, and he's saying, "Excuse me?" How does he deal with us when we treat him as though we really don't want to be with him? The answer is that he is merciful and he keeps coming back, and he keeps awakening and helping.
So I would say: Stay there. Pray for grace. Keep loving her. Keep loving the children. Be strong for the children.
And say to her, "I made a promise to you, and you made one to me, and I believe that God can awaken again what you've lost. And if you say you never had it, I think you did. And I think God could restore it, and I would like us to just keep working on it. I'll do whatever I can. I'm willing to go to counseling with you, if that would help. But I'm here to stay and I'm for you and not against you." And then he prays and joins with a band of guys to pray that the miracle of awakened love would happen in his wife.
Logos.ReferenceTagging.lbsBibleVersion = "ESV"; Logos.ReferenceTagging.lbsLinksOpenNewWindow = true; Logos.ReferenceTagging.lbsLibronixLinkIcon = "dark"; Logos.ReferenceTagging.lbsNoSearchTagNames = [ "h1", "h2", "h3" ]; Logos.ReferenceTagging.lbsCssOverride = true; Logos.ReferenceTagging.tag(); By John Piper. © 2009 Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org
