Online Auction – A parody of a parody!
To the tune of Mozart Concerto K.495, movement III With apologies to Flanders and Swann!
I once had whim and I had to obey it To bid for a bargain I found on e-Bay I located it, and I put in my first bid In spite of my wife who was telling me “Nay” To make my bid I had to ignore all her cries of “No!” I made my bid And hoped it would win at first go. So carefully planned To win the bid and Give me cash in hand – Make me a grand!
Oh the hours that I spent awake Hoping that my bid they'd take But that was yesterday And just today I looked at the lot that was for sale And turned very pale The lot was sold to another Oh who could have bought it? Haven't you, hasn't anyone seen my lot? Oh who has it now? What a blow, such demand Now I'm broke and will never make my grand! Who nicked my bid? I bet you a quid some dealer did Knowing I found a great bargain And wanted to win it Afraid of my buying and making a grand From early today, to my utter dismay They had whipped it away in the palm of their hand.
I lost my bid! I know that I could have won yesterday I've lost my bid – lost my bid Found my bid – DEAD! But there's hope of getting some more I keep peeping in at the door I know some traveling folk Whose delight and joke Is pretending they deal with antiques But they are gone away Was it one of them who won on the day? Will you kindly withdraw you bid? Who is the devil who upped that bid? I shall tell the whole world!
I want that bid for me I miss the profit that I should have made Without that lot I'm like a sheep that's shorn I found me a lot and I played a bid for it Displaying my talent and acumen too But then just today To my utter dismay It was totally stolen away I planned out my bids and how I could extend it But somebody took it away I worked out my profit and wanted to spend it But somebody took it away My wife is asleep in her bed But I need to get out of the red So I'm selling my body instead – waa waa! © Peter Wyllie
