Mark: Welcome back everybody to the EnglishLingQ Podcast. Mark here with Jill, again.
Jill: Hello.
Mark: We are going to be discussing another excerpt from Dr. Laura. This particular excerpt is about a compulsive liar and nobody likes a compulsive liar, right Jill?
Jill: Right and I would know.
Mark: Why? Is there something I don't know about you? Jill: Just kidding.
Mark: It's actually kind of funny to read about or listen to this clip because it's something you expect, I guess, from a little kid to blatantly deny that they just did something that everybody knows that they did. In a situation like this where it is presumably an adult, oh, I guess it's not an adult it's a kid. Jill: Yeah, but I think he's a teenager. They don't really say his age, but it seems to me like he's a teenager, so maybe not an adult but not a little child. Mark: Right, right. Yeah, anyway it's? Jill: Maybe we should just explain what "compulsive liar" means. Mark: Well, that's a good idea. Jill: Some people might not know that if you are a compulsive liar it means that you lie about everything.
Mark: Right.
Jill: You can't help yourself. You almost don't even know how to tell the truth. Even when something wouldn't be even bad to admit the truth, you would rather put a spin on it and lie about it. Mark: Right and, you know, there's again, getting back to little kids, some of my kids friends, you know, they'll be in the car talking to one of my kids and, you know, there's one in particular and everything that comes out of his mouth is just not true. My son will come back from school and, you know, this other guy, you know, he said. The best one he came home with was he's got a sister that lives in the garage at his house, like his parents are mean to her and they keep her in the garage or something; nobody knows about her or something. Yeah, he said!
Jill: Oh, a sister that doesn't go to school, nothing. She's not allowed out of the garage. Mark: She lives in the garage and I think my son kind of believed it. I'm not sure, but I was like you know what? Everything this guy says is not true and so, he would be a compulsive liar.
Jill: Which is, you know, that's a pretty frightening antisocial behavior. Mark: Well, it is except for little kids, I mean, you do get kids telling stories, but this guy.
Jill: Right.
Mark: But the stuff he says is so completely unbelievable to us that I can't believe that my son would take it seriously, but. Jill: But, he's a kid too and kids are gullible. Mark: Yeah and to a certain degree kids tell each other stories.
Jill: Yes.
Mark: But this guy's a little extreme. Like he just it's all stories. Jill: He's seeking attention, perhaps? I don't know. Mark: Maybe. Anyway, that's what I think of when I see the words compulsive liar. Jill: That little kid.
Mark: With that, why don't we listen to the excerpt. Dr. Laura: Jim, welcome to the program.
Jim: Hi, how are you?
Dr. Laura: Fine, thank you.
Jim: I have a question. I have a nephew that's having a problem with compulsive lying and putting himself outside the situation. He's not aware of what is actually happening. We had an instance where he actually defaced some property and we addressed it with him. He stopped and he paused and just said like, I wasn't there. I don't know what happened. It just happened. I was curious if there is something we can do disciplinary? I spoke with his parents and they are trying to work it out, but he doesn't seem to be responding. Dr. Laura: Okay. There's a book by Dr. Stanton Samenow S A M E N O W -- called "Before It's Too Late". Jim: Okay.
Dr. Laura: It deals with growing sociopaths Jim: Exactly. Dr. Laura: who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate and this book helps parents get on track to deal with that, as the title says, before it's too late, because the next books he wrote about are when people are in prison. Jim: Exactly.
Dr. Laura: And he's experienced with that too, but it's better not to get there if we can avoid it. Jim: Definitely; because if we can help him before he gets to the point where he is a burden on society and himself?
Dr. Laura: Yes, exactly. In this, I wasn't there; I don't know who did it; give me a break. Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Laura: Okay, Jim. I believe you can go on my website and get the book. It's in paperback, it's cheap, it's worth the read. Jim: Great. I appreciate it.
Dr. Laura: Thank you.
Jim: Thank you so much. I wanted to tell you that we've been listening to you for quite a while and you're a cornucopia of nourishment to a starving world. Dr. Laura: Oh, thank you. That was lovely. Thank you very much.
Jim: Thank you and have a good day.
Dr. Laura: Bye, bye, Jim. That was very sweet.
Mark: Well, there you have it the compulsive liar. I don't know what I guess we already covered the phrase "compulsive liar" and so we can, perhaps, move on. But, I guess in the first sentence it occurs again, "compulsive lying." Obviously, I mean maybe we should explain since the whole piece is about lying. Obviously, to lie is to not tell the truth. If you are a liar you're someone who tells lies. Jill: Right.
Mark: Right.
And then, obviously here, their nephew has a problem with compulsive lying. Maybe I'll then ask you, Jill, to let us know any other terms or vocabulary that you see there that might be of interest. Jill: Okay. So, I highlighted the phrase "putting himself outside the situation." You won't necessarily hear that everyday, but I think it's sort of figurative. I mean, he's not literally putting his body outside of a situation. He's removing himself from the situation. He almost is not admitting to himself that the situation happened that this event actually occurred. So, he's able to deny that he did something because he can actually remove himself from it. He can separate.
Mark: He blocks it out.
Jill: Yeah.
Mark: To pretend. Yeah, right, to be able to act like it never happened.
Jill: So here, they are talking about an incident where he defaced some property, which means if you deface property you ruin it. Maybe you break a window or you spray paint somebody's car or a bridge or, you know, something. Mark: Basically vandalism of some form or another.
Jill: Right.
Mark: Right.
Jill: Wrecking something. And they "addressed it with him", so they brought it up. They brought this issue up.
Mark: Right.
So he defaced some property and we addressed it with him; right. And that's probably a less common use of the word address. "Address" is probably one that people are most familiar with a postal address which, I guess, is more or less the same meaning. You are addressing the issue with that person; yeah.
Jill: Yeah.
And then the next phrase I thought was kind of important is "trying to work it out." So, I spoke with his parents and they are trying to work it out. So, if you are trying to work something out, you are trying to improve it. You are trying to make it better. Solve the problem.
Mark: Which is a very common phrase "trying to work it out". You often hear married couples that are having marital problems; they are trying to work out their problems to come up with some kind of a well, to make things better.
Jill: Right.
Mark: Yeah.
Jill: And they say, you know, his parents are trying to work it out, but he doesn't seem to be responding. So, the child doesn't seem to be changing. His behavior is not changing. So, no matter what the parents try, I don't know what it is they're trying; they don't talk about it here; it doesn't seem to be making a difference. Mark: Right.
It doesn't seem to be having an affect or a positive affect. Jill: Right.
Mark: Right.
