Dr. Laura: I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Hi, Lori, welcome to the program.
Lori: Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call.
Dr. Laura: Thank you.
Lori: I have a problem with my older sister. She thinks that my mother should spend twice as much time with her kids as she does with mine, because she's got a horrible mother-in-law who doesn't spend any time at all with her children, and she thinks that because my children have two grandmas that love them, that our mother should spend twice as much time with her children as mine. She's stopped speaking to me over this. I'm actually moving in with my mother in the next couple weeks while my house is being finished. We'll be living there for approximately two months, and she will not take my phone calls. If I go over to the door, her son will come to the door and tell her- Dr. Laura: Okay, Lori, I can't help you with your sister. Lori: Well, can you help me with how to deal with her?
Dr. Laura: I don't know what "deal with" means. Lori: How do I cope with what she's doing to our family? She's just hurting myself, she's hurting my children, my mom- Dr. Laura: She's not hurting your children. Your children only know what you expose them to.
Lori: Well, they were there when she told me all this.
Dr. Laura: So, you should have ushered them out of the room. They're not damaged by that. Lori: Do you think my mother should spend twice as much time with her kids?
Dr. Laura: That's your mother's decision, not yours. Lori: Okay.
Dr. Laura: I mean, you're both competing for your mother, and now you moved in with your mother. I mean gee, you upped the ante.
Lori: It was out of necessity.
Dr. Laura: Honey, no it was not. If your mother lived in Arkansas, you'd find some other way to cope. So don't give me it was your only alternative. It's not true. I'm just saying you upped the ante. You fed into the problem. If you had called me six months ago and said, "This is brewing," I would have said, "You know what? If you want to try and keep peace and work this out, don't go move in with your mother." Lori: That's true. Dr. Laura: If you can be that blind, Lori, I don't know what to say. You upped the ante, and it's your mother's decision, not yours. Lori: Okay.
Dr. Laura: And you should not try to influence your mother.
Lori: Oh, I haven't said anything to her about it. Dr. Laura: Good. Then that's how you deal with it. You deal with it by keeping quiet and getting on with your own life, but realize that what you did escalated the problem.
Lori: Okay.
Dr. Laura: Okay?
Lori: Okay, maybe we should find an apartment. I think maybe I'll do that. Dr. Laura: Maybe so. I think that's a good idea. Lori: Okay.
Dr. Laura: Okay.
Lori: Thank you.
Dr. Laura: Bye-bye.
